Keggers, Wheels and the NFL debacle

A discussion between Cruz 96.3 FM morning person Clayton Kroeker and his fiancée: “Her: So, are we getting a keg for the wedding? Him: Why do we need a keg? Her: You know . . . for like keg stands and stuff. Him: Long story short; we’re now getting a keg for the wedding.” Clearly, Clayton is marrying way up.

• Generally speaking, I don’t like nicknames, especially when they are applied to grown men. I listen to parts of the Green Zone on CKOM almost everyday, and names like Woodsy (Warren Woods) and Suits (Glen Suitor) make sense, because they are takeoffs on their names. The show now has a guy called Wheels as its co-host. The guy is good on air, but the repeated references to his nickname are grating.

• It must suck being a mayor. There are so many things you can’t do — like going to a pot shop, going on a pub crawl and suntanning at bare ass beach. It must be horrible to have to use such restraint.

• With the greenness of our city council, I can picture them sitting in chambers passing around a doobie.

• What is going on at Sportsnet? How could the deep thinkers in the corporate office fire Nick Kypreos, John Shannon and Doug MacLean in a couple of swoops? There hasn’t been changes this bad since Hockey Night in Canada tried to be hip and replaced Ron MacLean with George Stroumboulopoulos.

• It’s been 40 years since John Diefenbaker died. I remember being in awe of StarPhoenix reporter Marsha Erb, who road the “funeral train” from Ottawa to Saskatoon. She wrote amazing stories day after day. Marsha went on to be a Queen’s Court Justice in Alberta.

Forty years have passed since John Diefenbaker’s death.
(Photo by Cam Hutchinson)

• I was so happy when the NFL preseason game debacle came to a conclusion in Winnipeg. The nightmare started a few months ago when CKOM’s John Gormley reported that the game coming to Saskatchewan, and ended on an 80-yard field in Winnipeg with Gormley in attendance.

• Another radio guy said he doesn’t trust polls, pointing to the one that had Hillary Clinton winning in a landslide over Donald Trump. I’m thinking the poll was done before the Russians voted.

• Donald Trump wants to purchase Greenland and Justin Trudeau wants to buy Quebec. Trudeau will be more successful.

• Postmedia political columnist Murray Mandryk, on the City of Saskatoon being scammed for more than $1 million: “Nigerian Prince vows to solve case if Saskatoon will provide a small sum to finance his investigation.” So far, the prince has done a good job, with about a third of the money recovered.

• Ken Griffey Jr. turns 50 in November. Can you believe that?

• Who were your three favourite players when you got into hockey? Mine were Gordie Howe, Roger Crozier and Diefenbaker. I know; I know.

• A follower of a follower on Twitter asked why, in 2019, are some people in the media calling Bianca Andreescu “the darling of Canadian tennis.” Is Connor McDavid “the darling of Canadian hockey?”

• From British Columbia-based columnist Patti Dawn Swansson: “Every time I see Dave Dickenson, I think of a yappy, little lap dog. Coach Chihuahua, the Calgary Stampeders’ sideline steward, is forever tugging on game officials’ pant cuffs and you just want to slap him on the nose with a rolledup newspaper. But in today’s CFL, that’s definitely a 15-yard penalty and probably a fine.”

• Another from Swansson: “There are so many birds squawking outside my window right now I think I’ve got Alfred Hitchcock for a neighbour.”

• Did you know peeing in shower once a day can save up to 2,500 litres of water per year?

• From Chris Lane, CEO of the Canadian Western Agribition: “I would like to see some investigation journalism on how school supply lists are created. There’s gotta be some kind of
kickback on red pens.”

• Tony Romo has quickly become the best analyst on NFL telecasts. Now he wants to be paid like it. There are reports that Romo is seeking $8 mil-lion a year. As crazy as it sounds, he is worth it in NFL analyst dollars.

• Here is something I found interesting. “The best hockey player born on your birthday has to score on a penalty shot to save your life. The goalie he’s facing is the starter of the Stanley Cup champs the year you graduated high school. Do you get to see tomorrow?” I would have Jacques Lemaire shooting on Gerry Cheevers. I have a decent chance to live on.

• Replacements the Winnipeg Blue Bombers considered for injured quarterback Matt Nichols: 1. Brandon Bridge; 2. Kevin Glenn; 3. Dieter Brock.

• From a Regina police officer: “This vehicle quickly exited a parking lot, cut me off, and turned into another parking lot. I had to hit the brakes to avoid a collision. Driver issued a $230 ticket for failing to yield the right of way when entering a highway. The driver said he was really craving a bagel.”

• Lone live the Canadian Elite Basketball League. The six teams averaged 2,500 fans per game. “Thank you for all your support. Much more to come,” Mike Morreale, league CEO and commissioner, said in a tweet. And our Rattlers won the championship.

Three-on-three basketball was a big part of the Canadian Elite Basketball
League’s championship weekend in Saskatoon. The Saskatchewan Rattlers
won the championship in the league’s inaugural season.

• A tweet I found amusing: “Boy: I wish girls liked sports; Girl: I like sports; Boy: Oh yeah, name the blood type of the Seattle Seahawks coach from the 1990s.”

• This column wasn’t very good because I have an upper body injury.

-Cam Hutchinson