Talking turkey: I can’t stomach it anymore

Ahhh it’s that time of year when we’re all thinking about holiday stuff. Gifts, events, decorations, the whole enchilada. Speaking of food, I have a problem. Well, I have several problems. My tum has always been a little touchy, ever since wee childhood, but over the past few years it has said a resounding “nope” to turkey. It doesn’t matter who cooks it. I always pay for gorging on the traditional huge bird and the trimmings. To be fair, I stopped gorging ages ago; but I can’t even have a few ounces of white meat without discomfort. So this is forcing me to look at Christmas, which is what we celebrate, in a different way. I mean, not everyone who does Christmas eats turkey or even ham. A quick Google search revealed that people in other nations will prepare fish dishes, for example, if they are near the ocean.

Ukrainians celebrate with a 12-course vegetarian feast on their Christmas Eve. This event includes Kutia, a wheat berry-honey dish that’s familiar to plenty of folks around here. I have indeed participated in this feast. I am not Ukrainian, but my grandmother was born in Ukraine, so there has long been an affinity on that side of the family with this culture. I also have Jewish family members but have not celebrated Hanukkah with them, mostly because they don’t live here. I do fondly remember eating latkes with them, though, at other events, and I would really love to repeat that delicious experience.

In Australia, I gather, because the season hits in summer, there is a lot of flinging shrimps and things on the barbecue. I threw this question — what do you love to eat at holiday time — out on social media and boy, was that popular. Maybe not quite viral, but I received a lot of responses and they were delightfully varied.

 My author friend Maria, for example, does a “traditional Puerto Rican Christmas menu: pork shoulder roast, rice with pigeon peas, ‘pasteles’ (meat enclosed in a green plantain/banana patty) and potato salad.”

Mike’s holiday treat is chocolate chip shortbread. This does not solve my main protein dish problem but did answer the question. Also, yum.

 My British friend Cheryl is making Italian porchetta, a fabulous spice-stuffed pork roast. That one is going into the recipe box. Kathleen’s husband makes kasha varnikes — buckwheat groats and bowtie pasta — every Hanukkah.

 Eileen is not alone in making prime rib for Christmas, a long-standing tradition in her family, followed by “the special treat” of plum pudding and lemon sauce. A goodly number of folk mentioned Brussels sprouts, prepared in various ways. Those are NOT hitting my table unless they’ve been thoroughly roasted. Another friend also named Maria said, “Being Swedish, I’d prolly lose my citizenship if I said anything but pickled herring.” Ha. So herring, then. Glazed ham, sugar cookies, Christmas cake, Christmas pudding, freshly-baked dinner rolls with the smell of yeast permeating the air . . . I was salivating by the end of this exercise. And I learned that we can change, as many of my respondents have, and we all really do eat a variety of things, and I don’t HAVE to eat turkey if I can’t. So I will dive into my heritage and make rouladen — hammered strips of beef rolled around bacon and onion, then simmered in a rich gravy — along with my traditional butter tarts, which I do not ever get sick of or from.

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 And then I thought, here I am, with my friends from many parts of the world, enjoying this conversation and experiencing this incredible luxury of actually deciding what I will eat over the holidays. Here at home, not everyone has that luxury. Here in our global community, far fewer do. My heart breaks when I think of the Russian invasion of Ukraine, of the Hamas-Israeli conflict (if that is the right term? It’s so difficult to get this right), of the expanding hate in our world and the political confusion and interference reaching even to Canada. War has been with us since our very beginnings and I have spent decades trying to understand why we cannot just Stop. Call me an innocent, but hate and violence . . . just, why? I know; I know. Humanity is racially divided, territorially greedy, economically desperate, politically testy and confused, and has been for generations . . . but WHY?

I will carry on with holiday preparations, because that is my reality. I will count my blessings that I live in this beautiful city in this beautiful province in this comparatively peaceful country. How lucky am I? But I would give up every morsel, every gift, every thing, to find the words powerful enough to bring peace. I wish that for you: peace, and joy, and love. Still the three greatest gifts.

-Joanne Paulson

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