I try to find ways to amuse myself when I am driving, or sitting in my car eating a Big Mac or a bacon McGriddle.

So, about a year ago, I started playing a game.

It is simple. I would listen to John Gormley’s provincial talk show, and change channels when he mentioned Justin Trudeau or a derivative of the prime minister’s name. (Note: Changing channels was relatively short lived because there is interesting stuff on the show.)

You can usually hit paydirt by listening to the first hour of Gormley’s show. That’s typically when he warms up his audience with Trudeau vitriol. I am not a Trudeau fan, but my focus is on the game.

One morning last week, I had the game of my life. It’s a record that will never be broken.

I turned on the radio at precisely the time Gormley said Trudeau. Honest, it was the first word. I was euphoric. The previous record was just under five seconds. That was a morning when Gormley was mocking Trudeau’s haircut. Why anyone would mock Trudeau’s hair is beyond my follicles.

I have been listening to the show more in recent weeks. One of my reasons is to refresh a column I wrote a few months ago, but wasn’t published in this newspaper.

In eight recent shows, Gormley said Trudeau or a derivative six times, while I was listening. It was always within a minute. On one occasion, Gormley made it through one of his half-hour segments, so it was an out-and-out loss for me. It taught me not to play after 10 a.m.

On another occasion, one of Gormley’s callers dropped the T-word. John didn’t follow it up. It had to fall out of John’s mouth to be a win. Eight shows and a 6-2 record.

One of the eyebrow-raising wins was when former governor general David Johnston was appointed to investigate claims that China meddled in Canada’s last two elections.

One day, Gormley said Johnston would be a great choice. The next day, he said Johnston is a great choice.

And the next day, Gormley’s head was exploding at how bad a choice Johnston was.

Sometime between day one an three, it came to light that there were close ties between the Johnston and the Trudeau families, dating back to Pierre Trudeau’s days in politics. Their kids played together and the families went on trips together.

Three days, three easy wins.

By the way, I believed Gormley when he said Johnston is honourable, but the conflict of interest is obvious. This investigation is one of the most important in Canada’s history, so Johnston is the wrong choice.

Anyway, I thought about ways to share my game. Maybe it could be a drinking game.

Every time Gormley says Trudeau or Justin or Justie or His Nibs or You Clown — which Gormley seemingly found distasteful after uttering it — you take a drink of something or other. It’s been my experience that I’d be hammered by 10 in the morning on many days if alcohol was involved. I am not encouraging that.

Using the Trudeau name will get boring for you. For that reason, I have made substitutions.

A good one is “Ken from Saskatoon,” a loyal Gormley listener. As best I can tell, “Ken from Saskatoon” calls Gormley every morning. The problem is timing his call. I would go with the first 60-90 minutes when politics are from and centre.

Most days “Ken from Saskatoon” is reasonable, but there are days when he gets a bit loopy. Maybe he beat me to the punch, so to speak, and is playing the Gormley drinking game.

You can also play the game using words.

My go-to lately is “woke.”

One day in March, Gormley used woke at least four times in five minutes. I was in wokeness heaven.

So, what is woke? Most who use it don’t know what it means. Gormley uses it to be condescending/snide toward those on the left.

I have challenged woke users to define it. None in my mini-poll could.

A CNN journalist named Brandon Tensley wrote a historical piece about the evolution of the word, beginning with the 1960s, when one of its uses was as “a rallying cry against police brutality.”

Use of the word actually dates back to the 1930s. Back then, black people described it as “waking up to the realities of oppression and racism in the United States.”

Our Indigenous people could say the same thing, and still could.

“By using the term ‘woke’ however they want, conservatives have muddied its meaning, have obfuscated it to refer to anything having to do with progressivism they don’t like,” Tensley concluded.

Of course, those on the right will dismiss Tensley as being a left-wing nutbar, given that his piece was for CNN.

A recent USA Today/Ipsos poll found that 56 percent of Americans say the term woke means an awareness of social justices, not excessive political correctness. Thirty- nine percent disagreed.

Sounds to me that woke means enlightened.

That was one huge digression. Sorry for getting riled up, but the misuse of woke has bothered me since I went online in search of its true meaning.

Anyway, loyal Gormley listeners should try the game and keep a scorecard. This game isn’t about liking or disliking the Gormley show. This is about having some fun while listening.

And please don’t drink and drive.

• Cam Hutchinson