By Cam Hutchinson

It has been a lousy start to the New Year.

I wrote more obituaries in January than I did newspaper columns.

My father-in-law Des Gore-Hickman died on Jan. 19. He was the third of three family-related deaths during the month.

I have been part of the Gore-Hickman clan for almost 50 years. I met his older daughter Sandy in October 1973 and have been around ever since.

When I met him, he had just retired from the RCMP while in Regina, and had taken a job with the federal government in Saskatoon.

It wasn’t easy for me to ask girls out, let alone the daughter of a guy with a service revolver. We shared a love of sports, laughter and his daughter.

I didn’t ask Des for permission to marry Sandy. I thought forgiveness was better than permission. I still do.

He was incredibly well built. He spent most of the summers shirtless while working in his garden.

I would sit in a lawn chair in his yard with no thought of taking off my shirt. Where this man had muscles, I had ribs.

Even at 93, his passing came suddenly. We had a drink together one day — he had Lemon Hart rum and I had Crown Royal rye — and lost him less than a week later.

He always had a bottle of Crown Royal in his condo for me. I am keeping the last bottle he bought for me. It might be empty now, but I am

keeping the bottle. I will have to see what kinds of crafts can be made from a whisky bottle.

In the hospital a day before his death, I told him he better be out by Friday, so we could have a drink. He laughed, but didn’t say he would be out.

He knew, and we knew he knew.

I will always remember his 60th birthday. One reason is that Sandy had just given birth to our middle son Brandon and was given a pass to leave the hospital for a few hours.

During the backyard festivities, the sound of music could be heard.

Marching down the street was the Shrine Drum and Bugle band.

“There goes my booze,” he said. “Those guys will clean me out.”

Des was social, which is a bit of an understatement. He enjoyed visiting with his neighbours on his patio. He was a proud member of the Shrine Club, serving a term as its president about 40 years ago.

As a member of the Shrine Club, he and his wife, now widow, Eunice made life-long friends. He believed strongly in the club’s mission to support children’s hospitals for burn victims.

When dating, I loved taking Sandy home, with a Shrine party in full swing. There were some characters, now gone.

On the day of Des’ passing, the grandsons that were able to be in Saskatoon had a drink of Lemon Hart rum — with Coke and water — in his honour. I joined in. I am not sure how anyone can stomach rum, but it was an appropriate time to try it.

His grandsons shared memories that afternoon. There were so many stories and laughs. Des had some memorable sayings, most of which can’t be published in a newspaper. Some were cringe worthy.

One that can barely pass the newspaper taste test, I hope, was his dislike of moustaches.

“Why cultivate on your face, what grows wild on you’re a–!”

He had a saying for cold weather and one for weddings and one for Roughrider quarterbacks.

I will cherish the memories of the backyard barbecues and brunches at his home. Every year throughout the 1990s and 2000s, more burgers and strips of bacon had to be put on the grill as his nine grandsons were born. Yes, nary a granddaughter.

He was a wonderful father-in-law, father, husband, grandfather and great grandfather.

For years, he and his grandchildren would play football in the park across the street from his home. In later years, it was reduced to him catching a few passes.

He caught his last one on Aug. 27, 2022.

I would give just about anything for him to catch another pass and to have one more drink on a Friday afternoon.

*****

On Jan. 8, one of my daughters-in-law lost her mother, Tana May, to cancer.

Only two weeks earlier, Tana was at my home for Christmas Dinner. My wife Sandy was with Tana three days before her death.

Tana’s health was failing, but doctors thought she would be with us for months or even years.

Tana was a single parent after the death of her husband more than 10 years earlier. My daughter- in-law, Mikhea, the youngest of three sisters, was put in a position to do the endless things that have to be done after a death.

It is hard to mourn when you are making arrangements. Sandy and I love and admire and cherish Miki. We are so lucky to have her in our family.

Miki also lost her grandfather in January. With failing health, he decided not to continue treatment, and chose medical assistance in dying.

Miki said he had a bite of rhubarb pie and then died peacefully.

I will count my blessings, and remember fondly those who are no longer with us.

• Cam Hutchinson