No one likes to grow old.

Every one of us could likely list several things that we resent. For some, the extent of this aversion to grow old leads them to make decisions that are costly or that have unwanted side effects.

For instance, although it is difficult to get a true value for this, the global anti-aging market (products, devices or surgery that reduce the appearance of becoming old) estimates are from $62-$216 billion a year, $17 billion in the U.S. alone in 2021.

Ageist stereotypes have often been internalized very early and little is being done to challenge our beliefs.

We have been marinating in the expectation that we can remain youthful, thin, strong and invincible until later life.

Very little thought or press has been given to the natural way that we age, with respect and acceptance.

Women are less likely than men to be satisfied with body image. Associated with this are higher levels of depression, eating disorders, anxiety and low self-esteem. Somehow, we must come to terms with this.

A study in Spain — called the IMAGINA program consisting of eight 90-to-120-minute sessions — had participants experience “entertaining activities that aimed at improving body image and self-esteem.

The study encouraged social participation, appearance acceptance and healthy nutrition. It found it very helpful in enhancing emotional intelligence and promoting positive relationships.

It re-evaluated self-expectations related to physical appearance and social interaction. It was a unique program that had excellent results.

Carstensen et al in “Emotional Experience Improves with Age” reports that aging can be associated with more positive wellbeing, greater emotional stability and the ability to deal with more complexity (co-occurrence of positive and negative emotions). This continues until near death.

Baltes and Baltes are lifespan developmentalists who say, “development is a process of adaptation and in order to be successful, you need to learn from experience, understand contingencies in your environment, approach rewarding situations and avoid punishing ones.”.

Socioemotional selective theory, a lifespan theory of motivation, argues that shorter time horizons become an increasingly important source of motivation, leading you to prioritization of emotional goals.

As people age and time horizons grow shorter, people invest in what is most important.

For most of us, that is meaningful relationships. From this we see that as we age, our emotional experience improves, and we spend more time and effort in those things that give us meaning.

I’m sure we all experience complex responses when gratitude is accompanied by a sense of fragility, happiness tinged with sadness. For example, the joy we have watching our grandchildren grow up, tinged with wonder if we will be there to witness their wedding.

In psychopathology literature, the coupling of positive and negative emotions is associated with fewer depressive symptoms and contributes to emotional stability.

Meditation that calls one to pay attention to our body sensations can sharpen our attention, regulate emotion, decrease inflammation, increase empathy and compassion and stabilize our body image.

Of all the ones I have listened to, I find a guided meditation by Davidji or Dawson Church to be the most helpful.

What about our physical disabilities that we experience?

I remember when I broke the terminal joint of my index finger and was left with a crooked finger, I was quite sad. Now I have several joints in my hands that have grown, making it impossible to wear my engagement or wedding ring. This is such an insignificant problem, but one of the many that add up to a general feeling of aging.

The art of accepting arthritic limitations of activity, cardiogenic limitations, respiratory limitations is one that needs to be developed.

I believe it is especially hard to accept when you finally realize that the lifestyle you have chosen — smoking, too much alcohol, lack of activity, or obesity — have led to your albatross.

For many, seeing the future results of these behaviours can lead to a heartfelt decision for change. Fortunately, our bodies can be very forgiving and improve substantially if given a chance.

My trainer reminded me of the importance of goal setting in maintaining health. Through all my self-imposed injuries — torn ligaments, an ankle fracture, sprained ankles — we have found a way to maintain fitness by not giving up and working the areas that we can.

Even in such devastating diseases as Parkinson’s disease, dedication to exercise can have a positive effect on the trajectory of the disease.

Don’t just give up, set goals, even thought they may be simple, and work up.

I know in this situation one of the hardest things to feel is gratitude, but there is evidence that an attitude of gratitude can improve one’s suffering. Just as having a positive attitude can increase longevity.

Dr. Vicki Holmes is a Saskatoon retired family physician who has a special interest in Palliative Care and Women’s Health. She is passionate about sharing medical information with the public!

(Vicki’s Photo: Memories by Mandy)

• Dr Vicki Holmes