Among my favourite changes are putting ashtrays back on the edges of sheets. I also like that curlers delivering the rock must stop before the hog line, and that brushes will be banned and corn brooms brought back.

The five-rock rule will be replaced with the no-rock rule, which made the game, as played in the 1980s and before then, much more exciting.

I remember playing in a bonspiel against Les Rogers of Regina, the 1977 provincial champion. We lost the toss and couldn’t steal a point or get a deuce. Rogers won 2-1 in a real barnburner.

In one end, we had a rock behind a guard and biting the button. Less than inch of our rock was exposed. Rogers threw a high hard one and picked it out. The crowd, at least the fan still awake, went wild.

(Note to radio announcers: Please don’t say “curling bonspiel.” That’s like saying teams competed in a curling curling.)

Seriously, Curling Canada came out with a batch of changes last week that will presumably make the game safer during the pandemic.

A 29-page document incudes changes to sweeping, positioning and pre-game traditions/rituals. When I see a 29-page document, I scroll to the bottom and “accept” the terms. I fear there will be a day when I just gave away my car.

Anyway, the big changes are having one sweeper, having no handshakes before or after games, and not being permitted to sweep an opponent’s rock behind the tee-line.

These aren’t radical changes. When I curled, one sweeper would sit on the bench and watch the other, or be in the bar having a snort.

When I skipped, I didn’t expend the energy to sweep rocks behind the tee-line. I was so weak I just tickled the ice with my broom. It is hurtful when the ice starts giggling.

It is suggested that handshakes be replaced by a wave or a tapping of brooms. I always thought it was odd that curlers would shake hands and wish their opponent a good game. I always hoped my opponents missed every shot and would quit after six ends.

Coin flips for last rock on the first end and the use of the scoreboards will be discouraged. I am not sure why, but what the heck. I played third for much of my career, and figure my winning percentage in coin flips was about 40 per cent.

The bottom line is I am glad curling will be back this fall. There are few, if any, sporting events I like to watch more than curling. Let the curling bonspiels begin.

*****

Three from Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times:

1. “A man caught trespassing in Eddie Hall’s garden in Newcastleunder-Lyme, England, immediately challenged Hall to a fight. Luckily for the perp his offer wasn’t accepted. Turns out the 6-foot-3, 350-pound Hall, the World’s Strongest Man in 2017, and is currently training for a boxing match in Las Vegas and is nicknamed ‘The Beast.’”

2. “David Feherty says his finest moment in golf came at St. Andrews, where he captained the Irish side that won the three-man world championship back in 1990 in a blind hangover. He said he threw up twice on the course: Which certainly gives the golf term ‘up and down’ a whole new meaning.”

3. “Lindsay Whalen, the Minnesota women’s basketball coach, says she’ll buy a hot dog for the first 500 fans at the Gophers’ home opener this season, the St. Paul Pioneer Press reported. In a related story, Joey Chestnut just bought 75 tickets.”

*****

Janice Hough, on umpire Joe West being adamant that people are dying from pre-existing conditions, not coronavirus: “Sounds like West is as much an expert on medicine as he is on calling balls and strikes.”

*****

From former Montreal Gazette columnist Jack Todd: “I’ve travelled with sports teams. I have no trouble believing that pro athletes would quarantine themselves inside a bubble for weeks at a time. So long as there isn’t a warm, breathing female-type person within 500 miles.”

*****

From Chris Cuthbert, one of the best sports broadcasters in Canadian history: “Career anniversary, July 7, 1979. The day Mike Schmidt became Mike Schitt in my debut sportscast. Always grateful I got a second chance.” (Note: I am glad Cuthbert is broadcasting NHL games in the Edmonton bubble, but not happy that Jim Hughson has those duties in the East.)

*****

From Edmonton broadcaster Morley Scott: “Is anyone concerned that the Oilers have lost 3 of their last 4 going into the playoffs?”

*****

“Unfit to play” is how NHL teams refer to players not dressed for practises or not with the team. Unfit to write is used when I open my laptop.

*****

It finally happened. A CFL team, in this case the Ottawa Redblacks, held a bottle drive. What’s next, a bake sale? I like pumpkin pie. (Note: The bottle drive was to raise money so children can play sports. Three cheers for the Redblacks and boo on me.)

*****

From comedy writer Brad Dickson: “Walmart is going to require that all customers wear masks. Good luck with that. I consider it a great day if I go to Walmart and all the customers are wearing pants.”

*****

The last words go to Perry: “Packers QB Aaron Rodgers and former race-car driver Danica Patrick are no longer an item, her rep announced. Rodgers apologists claim he called an audible; her spinmeisters say they hit the skids.”

-Cam Hutchinson