This summer we had a batch of mice roaming in our backyard. They weren’t a big problem, although they were eating bird seed and digging in some of our flower beds.

With a family event coming up, Sandy decided — and I agreed — that we would live trap the mice and move them. She said we could take them out into the country, or, I said, we could put them in the yard of someone I don’t like. I can think of a couple of rats.

Sandy won out, as she should have. We set a live trap under a tree where there is a bird feeder. Sandy put some peanut butter into it. For days, we waited for a mouse to take the bait. Day after day passed, with Sandy and I thinking we hadn’t put the trap in the right place, or maybe these mice had an aversion to smooth peanut butter. Maybe crunchy would be better.

One day, we spotted a mouse in the trap. Sandy and I had a family discussion. Should we take one out into the country, or wait until he or she has a couple of family members with him or her? We decided to wait. We opened the lid and be darned if three mice didn’t come jumping out.

We laughed at ourselves. “Maybe we shouldn’t tell anybody,” Sandy said. “It will be our secret,” I replied. As promised, I have kept it a secret and will continue to do so.

A few days later, we could see a couple of faces through the bars in the trap. Off to the country we went, finding them a nice spot near a slough. Around it were trees and tall grass. There was no house in the vicinity. We opened the hatch and five mice came bounding out. Five. Wow.

We were excited that we had kept a family together. Over the next week or so, we caught one, then another, then a third, then a fourth. There might have been a fifth and sixth, but I lost count.

Can you imagine the family reunions these guys must have had on their acreage?

“Uncle Harold, it’s is so nice to see you again. We thought a hawk or cat got you,” little Maggie said.

“There were both in the yard, but I kept a low profile. The hawk was a mean son of a gun and the cat was as big as a cougar. I can never understand why a hawk would want something bite sized like us. That hawk scared the heck out of Mrs. Hutchinson, when she took his picture. Anyway, how are the rest of the family doing?”

“The food isn’t as good as it was at the Hutchinson house, and we don’t have cable TV or Wi-Fi. I miss Netflix. But life is pretty good. We are worried about finding a winter home though.”

“Judging from the length of the car ride, their home isn’t that far away. We could make the trip in three days, I figure.”

“I don’t think that’s possible. I worry about Gramma Mildred making the trip. She’s getting weak, and we don’t have the Uber app.”

“Darn it, Maggie, the world has become one big app. Everything is Amazon now and its workforce of robots. Malls are hurting and local jobs are being lost. I blame this on Al Gore for inventing the Internet.”

“Did he?”

“Hell no. It’s a way to make fun of the Big Dummy.”

“Do you like Donald Trump?”

“Hell no. Donald Trump is a disgusting liar, who will be impeached, and then hauled off to prison if he is competent to stand trial. He is a sick man and desperately needs help.”

“Who do you think will win the election in Canada?”

“I think the Conservatives would win a majority had they picked Erin O’Toole as their leader. There is something about Andrew Scheer that people don’t like. With Justin Trudeau being a dumbass, I think it will be a Conservative minority.”

“You’re so wise. I am really glad our family is back together.”

“Me too, Maggie. I would have been so easy for Mrs. Hutchinson to set traps that would have killed us. Instead, she helped our family. I think I will pay her a visit before winter sets in and thank her. Maybe I could bunk in for the winter.”

Maybe.

-Cam Hutchinson